Rei Ayanami sank yet another hole-in-one.
Touji set down his own golf ball, aimed his putter, swung, and
drove the ball clear into a sand trap. "Man! I hate miniature golf.
if golf itself isn't un-sport-ish enough, they have to make it smaller
and give us these lousy clubs. And it doesn't help that Ayanami here is
pounding my butt into the ground with her putter."
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Lighten up," Kensuke, sipping on a root beer, told Touji. "The purpose of a school trip like this is to relax and have fun. Just enjoy
"Fat chance," Touji said. "I enjoy this the way trout enjoy
Shinji glanced quickly at Asuka, who was two holes ahead with
another group. "I'm having fun." He putted. "Sort of."
"That is one bad putt," Kensuke commented. "My turn."
Touji angrily marked Rei's score.
Shin Slurpee Evangelion
SLURPEE 0:3 - Destination Moon
"Activate," Gendo Ikari commanded. NERV staff began watching
monitors, tapping at keyboards, and preparing activation sequences.
Ritsuko monitored the main display unit at the front of Central Dogma. "Connect the main power supply and circuits." A quiet hum
filled the room. In the Eva holding pen, though it remained motionless,
Unit-03 seemed slightly more...active.
Maya Ibuki looked up from her position at a smaller computer
console. "Main power supply is connected. Initiating activation
system." She paused, studying her computer, then announced, "Voltage
has reached the critical point."
Ritsuko nodded. "Start the second phase of the activation
system," she ordered.
"Check." Shigeru Aoba typed in a series of commands. "The pilot has begun synchronizing."
"Start system phase II."
"Check again." Shigeru looked up at the main display, smiling as Eva-03's neurons engaged onscreen. "Synapses are inserted. Junction
started." The neurons continued to activate.
"Pulses transmitted," Maya announced.
"All circuits are functional."
"The initial contact is optimal. Nerve links are fully active up to 2500."
"The entire Eva is recieving power," Shigeru said, checking a
series of output screens. "Shall we engage the last phase?"
Ritsuko nodded. "Arrange for the third connection."
Maya inhaled deeply, recalling the incident when Rei first
attempted synchronization. "Up to 2580 satisfied. Countdown until
absolute borderline, 0.9, 0.7, 0.5, 0.2..." --for an infinitely long
second, the signal wavered just below the borderline-- "...absolute
borderline has been passed!" One could actually hear the tension in the
room drop, as all exhaled the collective breath they'd been holding.
"Signal accepted. The Fourth Child has synchronized completely with the Eva."
"Synch ratio holding at 30.7%," Maya reported. "Harmonics
"Good job, everyone," Ritsuko told the room. The Fourth Child, inside his entry plug, smiled.
"Excuse me," said the woman at the snack bar to Touji Suzuhara,
"but you're supposed to return your club when you finish. Not smash it
repeatedly against a rock."
Touji glowered, gave the already-bent putter one final whop, and
set it up against the club rack. "Golf sucks, anyway," he said. "And
what good is it if you can't channel your agressions into your
"Maybe you should channel your agressions into improving," said the snack bar lady.
"At this stupid sport? No way."
"I bet you're gonna have to pay for that," Kensuke told him,
pointing at the club.
Touji raised a clenched fist. "Want me to vent my anger on you? A bit of putter mayhem?" Kensuke backed off, shaking his head. "Didn't
think so. ...Hey, where'd Shinji go?"
"So she bought me a slurpee, which was fun," Shinji, sitting on a picnic table, told Ruri. "And then, the next day, it turned out that our
new trainer was some kind of karate rapper!"
"Now there's a weird combination." Ruri bit into her pizza
slice. "How'd it go?"
"Something like, 'kick, punch, it's all in the mind, if you wanna test me,' um...I forget. We had to repeat after him."
"No," Ruri said, laughing. "I mean, how did training go?"
"It hurt." Shinji recalled the strenuous exercises Chop Chop
Master Onion had put them through.
"Bummer...say, how do you feel about Asuka?"
Shinji was obviously taken off guard. "I...w-well, um.
Th...er...I think she's great!" he declared decisively after his initial
"Thought so. You should be nice to her, then. Considering that you're both pilots, you don't spend much time with her."
"I try!" Shinji protested.
"Then how come you're not talking to her now, hmm?" Ruri poked him in the nose. "You should challenge her to a golf game or something.
Right now! Go on!"
"Say, Asuka," Shinji said, interrupting an intellectual
discussion of who was dating whom. Four pairs of eyes, one a clear
blue, three really dark brown, focused on him. "Uh," crap crap crap, what
was I gonna say, "You golf well!"
"Well, duh," Asuka replied superciliously. "It takes focus,
concentration, and a steady arm! My Eva training perfects all of that.
And plus, there's just natural ability."
"Yeah. What was your score?"
Asuka's confident smirk was an odd contrast to Shinji's
complacent smile. "Two under par," she said, restraining the pride in
her voice just enough to indicate she was trying to restrain it. Her
friends gave affirming exclamations of surprise.
"That's really good." Rei had scored lower. "Um...go a round
"You? Come on, do you want your ego crushed or what? I'll win by a mile."
"It's all right with me. Are we going to golf?"
Asuka considered it. "All right, you've got yourself a deal. No backing out now, Shinji!"
The Fourth Child, hands full with bags, boxes of anime tapes, and his Playstation, fumbled with the keys to his new apartment building.
As it was, Shinji lost. But he didn't care. Because, after
figuring the scores:
"Wow. Asuka, you beat me by five points. You're better than I thought!"
Asuka looked at him strangely, as if analyzing his motives. "You keep saying that. Are you serious, do you mean that?"
"Well, yeah," he said. He uneasily scanned the miniature golf
course, the picnic tables, the arcade/snack bar.
"Shinji," Asuka responded, "you're a nice guy, you know?"
Shinji's eyes focused on her. He grinned.
Everyone had seen the new student. Even now, they saw him
sitting on the left side of the room, waiting for class to begin. As he
sat, they talked about various things, but mostly him. "Do you think
he's cute?" Asuka asked Hikari.
Hikari shrugged. "Somewhat, but there are cuter boys in this
"I bet he's just as much a pervert as they are, you know."
"I resent that!" Touji replied, sticking his head into the
conversation. "How do you figure I'm perverted?"
"You--" Asuka began, but she was cut off by the bell. The
"Good morning, class. We have a new student here today, David
Bever. He comes from the state of Ohio in America. Now, you do speak
"And how do you like Japan so far?"
"I don't know; I only arrived yesterday afternoon. But I've
enjoyed what I've seen."
The teacher nodded. "Well, I hope you enjoy it here. Quiet,
class!" The class had begun whispering loudly, once again about the
newcomer. "Let's begin the day's lessons with some algebra. Who
recalls the definition of a function?"
David Bever was eating his lunch of leftover sausage pizza,
engaged in reading The Communist Manifesto, when a shadow fell over
his book. "Hello?" he asked, turning his gaze upward.
"I'm Asuka!" said a smiling, attractive, red-haired girl standing in front of him. "Asuka Langley Soryu! I'm the pilot of Eva-02."
David immediately decided that this girl was much too effusive. "You're David
Bever, the Fourth Child, right?"
"Well, I'm sure not John Locke," David said.
The girl frowned. "Very funny. What're you reading there...The Communist Manifesto. Are you a communist or something?"
"Yes, I'm a militant Marxist and I'm plotting the overthrow of
capitalism. The revolution will live on, you know."
Asuka looked at him strangely. "You are a very sarcastic boy. I'll leave you to your devious little plots now."
"Da, comrade!" David called after her, slightly smiling, as she
left. She shot a hostile glance at him. Just what I need, a commie
"Ayanami, wait up!" a voice called. Rei turned her head to
observe the owner of the voice. It was Shinji.
"Hi," he said, catching up alongside her. She nodded in reply. "Did you like the miniature golfing thing yesterday?"
"Yes, I did. I believe I enjoy golf."
"...believe? You mean, you've never touched a golf club before?"
Rei pondered the inquiry. "No. I have not."
"Yes. It was my first time."
Shinji was impressed, yet incredulous. "That...that's
unbelievable! You finished five under par! Nobody does that well on
their first time." He reached a conclusion. "You're a natural, Rei."
"I have never possesed an inherent talent in anything but Eva
piloting," Rei observed quietly. She paused. "It is a different
"Incredible...say, have you met the Fourth Child yet?" Shinji
changed the subject.
"David Bever? I have not."
"Me neither. I guess we'll get to see him in training today."
Both Children continued to walk, now in silence, until they
parted ways and Shinji said goodbye to his companion. Nonetheless, the
silence was much more comfortable than are most conversations. Most
notably conversations during Rei and Shinji, though not the one they
The sound of a bio-mechanical robot the size of a skyscraper
crashing against skyscraper is quite a sound to experience.
And I don't use the term "experience" lightly. This is a sound so loud that one can feel one's eardrums reverberating in one's inner
ear, threatening to penetrate through the ear canal and turn one's brain
to petroleum jelly with pure sensory overload. It is a sound the
decibel level of which one would not want to know, unless one's mind was
unstable or perhaps turned to petroleum jelly. Accompanied by a tremendous
shaking feeling, potentially an intense pain, and everything going
before one's eyes, it is not a particularly desirable experience.
This was precisely the sort of thing Shinji Ikari was
experiencing at the moment, and it was precisely the sort of thing that
caused him to really despise defeating Angels in his Evangelion robot.
Our fearless hero screamed for a few seconds, until a searing,
burning pain shot through his upper body, increasing the decibel level
of his scream to darn near that of his building-smashing mecha. The paint
on the Eva began melting off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--" shrieked Shinji, suddenly
sitting up, his sheets sopping with sweat and alliteration.
Ah. Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man." Shifting from his sheets, he
slowly stood, suddenly not so sleepy. "Oh...man." He shuffled silently
in sleepwear across his room.
He felt very alone, unsteady, and shaken, which is probably why he felt his pulse. It throbbed like a machine gun in his wrist. He
walked into the hall.
Standing outside Asuka's room, he felt a need to reach out and
make sure that everything was still there. He considered waking her up,
but decided against it. "She'd be mad," he whispered to himself.
Shinji steadied his own nerves, slipped back into bed, and slept again.
"What do you think?" Fuyutsuki asked his superior. Commander
Ikari put down his roast beef sandwich on pumpernickel and looked at the
display screen. It showed a small, red orb hovering over the sea, off
the coast of Japan.
"You know as well as I what I think," he replied.
"An Angel." Fuyutsuki finished the thought.
"Definitely. ...Those things just keep coming. It's beginning
to get on my nerves." Gendo took an irritated bite of his roast beef
sandwich on pumpernickel. "Oh wewl. Notuhfy th' Eva pilots 'nd reddy
th'm for combhat." He turned on the intercom. "Atdenshn alw NERV
st--*swallow* ahem. Attention all NERV staff, report to first alert
stations. The Twelfth Angel has been sighted."
A descending elevator, containing Asuka and Rei, slowly...well,
descended...toward NERV central. Rei, standing by the doors, was quiet,
as was to be expected. Asuka, leaning against one wall, didn't talk
either, which was to be expected given the fact that Rei was nearby. It
The silence continued.
It continued to continue.
It was an incredibly, mind-blowingly, awe-inspiringly long
silence, and it kept right on continuing for about twenty floors.
Actually, come to think of it, it wasn't completely silent; a soft piano
piece floated through the elevator. It was finally this music that
caused the silence to stop continuing.
"It's Rei's theme," Jackson Ferrell told his readers.
"Man, this elevator music is annoying! They ought to play
something cool in here, like Rammstein or Five Iron Frenzy. It's dull
enough as is. Don't you just hate the music?" Asuka disgustedly asked
"I do not mind it."
"Hmph. You wouldn't. You're such a doll, can't even form your
own opinions about music. I bet you wouldn't even have the guts to
protest if you hated this stuff."
"Elevator music is not of consequence," Rei replied evenly. "It does not matter."
Asuka stared disdainfully at Rei's back. "Don't you have a
single original idea at all? Why're you so ambivalent about
The silence returned briefly, continuing again for a few seconds,
before Rei gave her response. "I have opinions. I have just formed the
opinion that your opinions pertain to things of no consequence."
"Shut up!" Asuka yelled. The doors opened. "I don't care what you think, doll, I'm getting that worthless music changed!"
"Your name is David, right?"
"That's right. And your name?"
"I'm Shinji. Shinji Ikari."
"Well, hi, Shinji."
"You know, I bet the inventor of the rack designed these
plugsuits. Talk about sadism."
"Well...you get used to it, I guess."
"They say wearing these helps you synchronize. How can I think about that when my sole thought is my physical discomfort?"
"Actually, fighting Angels kind of helps."
"I see. So the prospect of impending death causes you to ignore non-essential details like tight plugsuits?" Shinji, fully plugsuited,
pulled back the changing curtain and left for his plug. He was followed
by David, who continued talking. "I can see why there are only four
"All pilots have synchronized," Maya Ibuki noted. "All ratios
are as expected." On the main screen, the four pilots were displayed
along with individual pilot data. Shinji kept his eyes closed,
Onion-sensei's training. Rei's expression almost wasn't one, save a
small nuance of determination in her eyes. Asuka looked eager. David
Bever, seeming angry, jerked at his plugsuit's collar.
"Restraints removed from Evas. Launch preparation procedure is
complete." Hyuuga looked up from a computer console.
"Visual display of the Angel, please." Gendo stood at his
command position, holding a sack containing one roast beef sandwich on
pumpernickel. Onscreen, the same red dot hovered over the same Pacific
Ocean in the same place.
"Very well, then. We will attempt a long-range attack. All
pilots are to equip their Evas with anti-Angel rocket launchers. Eva
launching will commence on your mark, Major Katsuragi."
"Is everyone set?" Misato asked.
"Yes," Shinji said.
"Yes," Rei said.
"Roger!" Asuka said.
"More or less," David said.
Everyone spoke simultaneously, so Misato simply assumed that they
were prepared. "Okay. Evas LAUNCH!"
It was David's first time going zero-to-sixty vertically in less
than a second, so he screamed a lot.
After grabbing their assault weapons and blitzing across the
city, the Evas met on the shore, spreading out to around an arm length
apart. Hovering a bit above Eva-eye-level over the sea was a small red
dot. "There it is," David, master of the obvious, noted.
"I intend to fix that." Asuka kneeled and targeted. "Sniper
mode engaged. Zooming...locked on!" The rocket launcher fired three
shells, which trailed out some thousand meters toward their target.
The first shell sailed over the Angel, sinking into the water.
The second, falling a bit short and exploding, created some wicked cool
waves for the surfers who would have been on the beach if there weren't
an Angel out. The third rocket penetrated the AT field and hit the
"You can kiss that one goodbye," Asuka said cheerfully.
In Central Dogma, Maya announced the continuing presence of a
The smoke cleared. The red orb thing was still there. Either
that, or there was a speck of lint on everyone's viewscreen in the same
place that the Angel had just been. And that speck had the ability to
emit an Angelic frequency.
"It's not over yet," Shinji said. He kneeled to target, but then
the red dot launched itself toward the shore.
Down in NERV, Hyuuga frantically shouted, "Massive energy buildup
detected in the Angel! Target's speed is 86 KPH...and climbing!"
"Take it out!" Misato shouted. "Stop firing at two hundred
meters and prepare for close combat!"
The pilots had already obliged and were bombarding their target
with rockets. It approached further and faster, eventually passing the
200-meter mark. Few rockets made contact, seeing as how the object's
speed was now greater than that of a rocket anyway. The speeding Angel
stopped on a dime, almost right next to Eva-02, which began trying to
kick it away. Progressive knives drawn, the massive mechas stood poised
to attack the Angel.
Shinji's dream was trying to make itself remembered. Shinji was
trying to suppress it. Now's not the time for that! He rushed
toward the red sphere, slightly darker than its Unit 02 backdrop, and
stabbed at it with his weapon. The knife wouldn't penetrate, so Shinji
forced it even harder against the Angel's AT field.
"Energy buildup is still present!" Hyuuga told his superiors.
"The energy level's enough to decimate a tank!"
"Then we've got to take it out fast," Misato concluded. "David,
Rei, get in there!"
It was a good thing that the two weren't in there, because the
Angel suddenly released its gathered energy. A focused blast of fire
emerged, hitting the immediate threat of Eva-01, which flew back, purple
and green against a blue sky, and crashed into a supply skyscraper.
Shinji felt a tremendous shaking feeling and an intense pain.
Everything went swimmy before his eyes. His plugsuit nearly went
swimmy, too. NOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Through his unfocused vision, he could see a giant sphere of
flame surrounding the Angel...and Eva-02. "AAAASUKAAAA!!
AAAAAA-SUKKKKAAAAAA!!" Something snapped, and Shinji picked up his
rocket launcher. Instantaneously, his vision was clearer than it had
"$&^%, that guy's angry," noted David Bever, master of the
obvious. Rockets exploded at the perimeter of the fire field.
"Retreat!" Misato commanded. "Asuka, get out now!"
Units 00 and 03 ran around the cloud of flame, leaving quickly,
but Shinji stayed in place. He silently fired rocket after rocket into
the inferno, an intensely furious glare on his face, until a crimson and
scorched bio-robot stumbled out, collapsing. He then stopped firing,
down his weapon, and dragged his fallen companion far from the flaming
In one of the holding pens, Ritsuko examined the damage dealt to
Eva-02. The captain of her analysis crew hopped off the Eva's left
shoulder and walked over to her.
"Damage analysis complete," he informed her. "Armor plating is
completely unsalvageable...the stuff's melted beyond repair. Once we
remove it and the Eva's scar tissue, we should be able to begin
Doctor Akagi nodded. "Do you have specifications for the
"Not yet. We have data for Unit-02, and we're working on 01.
From these we can calculate the specs and get the necessary parts."
"That's good. Back to work, then." She returned her attention
to her clipboard, and the crew captain returned to the left shoulder.
From there he called orders to the other crew members.
"We're going to move on to 01 now, except for Itoi's subcrew.
They'll be working on the specifications for replacement armor. Let's
Misato was watching Hyuuga monitor the Angel. "It's using
focused flame bursts to melt NERV's defensive shielding," he observed.
"Levels one through three are already penetrated."
"Rather like the Fifth Angel, ne?" Misato remembered how that
attack had been thwarted. On the other hand, NERV couldn't afford to
power out all of Tokyo again, and the sniper attack might not work
another time. The Twelfth Angel had shown it could explode conventional
projectiles with the heat-wave thing, and close combat was definitely
out. "How can we penetrate that infernal fire field?"
Hyuuga shrugged. "I don't know. By my calculations, we've got
around half a day before it breaks through the final defense level. I
could go for a soda...it's so hot in here. Gonna take a quick break."
"Try to think of something while you're getting your soda."
Misato sat down as Hyuuga left. "There has to be a solution here.
There always is..."
In her hospital room, Asuka was singing.
"Thank you for the card, with the cartoon nurse, but you see
there's nothing wrong with me. You think, 'That's what you think,
that's what they all say,' before I blow you away! By rocket to the moon; by
airplane to the rocket, by taxi to the airport, by front door to the
taxi; by throwing back the blanket," --she threw back the blanket on her
hospital bed-- "hanging down the leg--ow!!! OW!" After dropping her
down, she cringed in pain.
She pulled it back under the covers and pulled the covers back
About half an hour later in a conference room, Subcommander
Fuyutsuki and Major Katsuragi sat around a table, discussing financial
"...so," Misato concluded, "the damage to Unit 02 is so intense
that our budget won't cover it. In addition there's the cost of
repairing Unit 01, and the defensive shielding, and any further damage
the Evas incur. To summarize, we're financially screwed."
Fuyutsuki had a suggestion. "Instead of focusing on what we
can't do, let's see what we can. Without further work on Unit 02, can
repairs to 01 be afforded?"
"Yes," replied Misato, quickly scanning her papers.
"And how long will that take?"
"Two or three hours should get it."
"Good...we'll have three Evas ready for combat, with at least
eight hours left. Shinji is in piloting condition, right?"
"Yeah, I think so. He kept telling us to put the plug back in,
when we extracted it, and he seemed angry. But physically, I think he's
all right; they checked him over in the med lab, and everything looked
fine. But as for Asuka..."
"Asuka, I take it, is in as bad condition as her Eva?"
"She has some serious burns. I think she'd be as angry as
Shinji, if she weren't so badly wounded. Ritsuko had her hospitalized."
Fuyutsuki nodded. "I suppose she'll be unable to fight this
Angel anymore. Now, do you have a plan for defeating the Angel?"
"I've got a vague idea, but it needs work. Could you give me a
Rei, in the meantime, was in the Training Gym. Though Chop Chop
Master Onion was not present, his signature rap music filled the room as
the First Child trained herself. With precision and fluidity, she
executed each move almost flawlessly.
"...Kick punch block. ...Duck pose jump."
The commands became more difficult with each passing measure of
"...Duck block punch. ...Chop chop jump. ...Jump kick chop
pose. ...Kick kick block punch."
Rei's technique seemed to improve with the increasing complexity
of the commands. Finally, she finished with a rapid 8-hit string of
attacks. "...kickchopduckpunchkick. Aahh...hooo." Turning off the
tape, she inhaled deeply, exhausted.
"Not half bad," said David Bever, from the doorway. He walked
over to the mat Rei had stood on. She was now sitting on it, quite
literally taking a breather.
"Is this part of Eva pilot training?" he asked.
"Somewhat. It...is not neccessary to...train at this time. But
I can...better fulfill my purpose...if I train now."
"Dedicated," David Bever, master of the obvious, noted. "Don't
you have other things you could do, though?"
"I would rather...rather do this. It is...what I do...best."
"Well, whatever floats your boat. I'm going to kick back in
Lounge 3B, if you'd like to join me. See ya later, Rei."
"Goodbye, David." Rei continued resting until her breathing
became slow and regular again, then rewound the tape and continued
training. "Kick punch. ...Chop block." Her workout didn't stop until
a voice through the loudspeaker told the pilots to report to their entry
plugs. She then left, turning off the tape.
"LAUNCH!" commanded Misato, for the second time that day. Three
Evas rushed toward the surface. David didn't scream this time; he
clenched his teeth and tried to keep his face from coming off.
At the end of their launch rails, the Evas halted. Shinji
kneeled down, picking up a long piece of nozzled tubing protruding from
the pavement, and aimed it ahead. Rei readied a gun. David pulled his
prog-knife from its shoulder compartment and hit a button on it.
The blade extended to over twice its length. Unit 03 now held a
progressive katana. Just like Bushido Blade's POV mode, but in a
giant robot. ALL RIGHT!
"The target is approaching!" Misato yelled through the comm
system. "Get ready!"
The red spot appeared on the horizon, rapidly nearing the pilots.
Shinji aimed his tubing, pulled back on a lever at the tip, and held
the makeshift weapon steady. A high-powered stream of water hit the Angel,
stopping it in its tracks and effectively preventing the fire field from
forming. Shinji gritted his teeth, keeping the water blast focused on
"Rei! Your turn!" Misato commanded.
Rei targeted and fired her autolaser at the red spot. The
blasts, unhindered by any sort of flame blast, connected. Visible holes
appeared in the Angel's small, close AT field.
"Keep firing, Rei! David, finish it!"
David grinned inside his entry plug. Eva-03 held its katana in
both hands, dashing alongside the stream of water. When it reached the
Angel, it slashed and charged, cleaving through the AT field. As David
halted, some fifty meters behind his adversary, two evenly cut red
semicircles fell to the pavement at his back. They exploded.
Misato, about four thousand feet down and a bit to the right, was
exchanging high fives with everyone in Central Dogma. "Yeah! We did
I told you my plan would work!" She gave Fuyutsuki a hug, then danced
around ecstatically with Maya for a few seconds. "How about that giant
fire hose? Yahoo! Beers on me! Come on, let's go hit a bar!"
"After we return the Evas to their launch bays, Major,"
Commander Ikari reminded her. He flipped on the comm system. "Hello,
med lab? Please get me some aspirin..."
Rei, taking the elevator to the surface, heard very faint music
through the audio system.
"Got a peaceful feeling, I don't want to fight no more," sang
Reese Roper. "Got a peaceful feeling, I don't care if we're punk or SKA
or hardcore. Enough for you, it's sad but true, you can call us names
'til your face turns blue. Our assurance comes from God, it's nothing
new; we'll never care 'cause we're never cool enough for you!"
"That is true," Rei noted. She preferred the old music.
"Asuka?" Shinji asked, cautiously opening the door to the
hospital room. "Are you awake?"
"Sure wish I weren't." Shinji took this as an invitation to come
in and walked across the room to the hospital bed. Asuka lay on it, her
hair spread out across the pillow, one hand limply hanging on the
bedrail. "How did fighting the Angel go? I suppose you were the hero
again, super Shinji."
Shinji scratched his head nervously. "A-actually, it was David
who finished it. I just held the fire hose."
"Fire hose!" Asuka laughed, which caused her chest to hurt.
"Are you all right?" Shinji asked, putting his hands on the
"No. Don't make me laugh again, it hurts. Ow...that Angel did a
real number on my Eva. I hate it!"
"It's dead now, you don't have to worry."
"That's the worst part of it." Asuka's face showed anger and
disappointment as her hand tightly clutched the bedrail. Shinji's hand
was tightening its grip as well. "Now I can't take revenge on it. That
thing hurt me, and I want to make it hurt back! I hate it! I hate
She sighed. "I really hate this. I keep getting beat up by
these Angels, over and over. The last one got me hospitalized, and this
one I didn't even get to kill. It really hurts to be helpless...as if
you'd know, super Shinji."
"I do know." Shinji swallowed. "It hurts to pilot my Eva, even
when I win. L-like today, it hurt me...when that thing burned you!"
Shinji wasn't quite crying. "I don't want y-you hurt, 'cos that hurts
me too! I...I c-care!"
Nice guy, even if he is a stupid wimp, Asuka thought. "You
Nobody spoke as Asuka contemplated this. "And when you kissed
me. You weren't nuts then...you were just caring...right?"
"*sniff* yeah. I guess." Shinji did something almost as
reckless. "Um...w-would you like to, well, have lunch with me or, or
something when you get better?"
"A date, you mean?" Shinji nodded, shrugged, sniffled, and
Is it better to be a nice guy, or a strong guy? Asuka asked
herself. She examined Shinji's small frame, his hands clutched on the
bedrail, his face, mouth, nose, thin trail of water along his nose, his
His eyes. They were saying, "I don't care if you don't care, but
I still care." Something like that. Asuka closed her own eyes. Nice
"All right. Once I'm better, I'll go out with you. But I want
to rest now."
"I-I'll let you do that, then. Bye, Asuka," Shinji said,
In the elevator, he shouted, jumped for joy, and sang along with
Reese Roper. "Beautiful DAY! Wonderful FEE-LING! I feel like
"He's what?" Touji screamed into the phone. On the other end,
"Just what I said, man. He got himself a date with Asuka! As
soon as she's out of the hospital! And it's not second-hand info,
either; he just called me a few minutes ago!"
Touji frowned. "Well. I'm not sure whether to be happy for him
or put on black and mourn."
"You always wear black."
"You know what I mean! I mean that I'm glad he had the guts to
ask someone out, but why couldn't it be someone we both don't hate
with a passion? He talks to Ruri a lot; why not her? Or even Rei!"
The thought of going out with Rei struck Kensuke as weird. "That
would be dull! Come on, a date with Rei? You might as well go see a
"It wouldn't be my loss. In this case, it is, since Shinji and
Asuka may hit it off great and start hanging around each other. Not to
sound insensitive, but I hope that doesn't happen."
"I hate to rain on your parade, Touji, but he seemed really
"Aghh! First miniature golf, now this!"
Gendo microwaved and ate the leftovers of his roast beef sandwich
Jackson Ferrell turned on his midi of "Fly Me to the Moon," stood
up from his computer, and began to speak, as usual.
"Well, that's SLURPEE 0:3 for ya. These things are fun to write,
and I hope everyone else is having a blast reading them, too. Oh, and
sorry there wasn't any 'Yan Can Cook' in this one.
"Okay," he continued, "I forgot to thank all the bands involved
for their songs. Five Iron Frenzy did 'Cool Enough For You' and 'A
Flowery Song.' 'Destination Moon' is by They Might Be Giants, and the
rap about karate is by...gee, I don't know. But a Special Thanks to all
"And now, a preview of next episode! Actually, there won't be
much action in ep 4, to make up for the superfluity of big robot combat
nonsense in this one. Instead, we'll get to see Shinji's date with
Asuka, and also the NERV New Year's Eve Party! Romance, comedy, utter
nonsense, Five Iron Frenzy, and limbo await next time, in Shin Slurpee
Evangelion 0:4 - It's A Big, Big House!
"Well, that's all for now. So long, and thanks for reading
this," Jackson said, waving. The midi finished. He turned it off and
went to go have a Dove Bar (tm).