Tina's World Mystery Science Theater!!!

A note from the author...

This is my first MSTing (aargh! they scream! Head for the hills!). As I have only seen the movie, and none of the MST3K series, I decided to follow Mike Surbrook's example and do an MSTing with characters of my own - at least I'll get them right. But anyway, on with the important stuff.

Sailor Moon is copyright Naoko T./DIC. Tina's world is copyright 1997- 98 Tina and contributing authors, of which I'm ashamed to say I'm one.


Contents...

Introduction    Chapter One    Chapter Two    Chapter Three    Chapter Four    More...

[The scene - a well furnished apartment, with two couches in an L formation in front of a large cabinet that includes a wide-screen TV and video recorder. The apartment has a few doors to who-knows-where, and a small kitchenette.]

[The front door opens and a man enters. He is 28 years old, 6' tall and well built, with a strong muscletone and caucasian features. He wears a pair of combat pants, heavy boots, a sleeveless jacket open at the front showing his bare chest and has a band-aid on the right side of his chin. He has brown eyes and long brown hair tied into a scruffy ponytail that reaches half-way down his back - save for a single strand that sticks out in front of his face. He is holding a newspaper, and examining a page as he enters.]

Dan: Let's see.. Flat 1209. Here it is. [Looks up.] What a disapointment. Anyone here? Nope. [He gets a drink from the fridge and sits down on the couch.] I guess I'll just have to wait for someone to show up. [Looks around again.] What the... Hey! No remote!

[Another man enters. This one is 19 years old, 5' 8" and of a medium build. He has asian features and skin tone. He is wearing jeans, a leather jacket and an 'Akira'T-shirt with a sword in its scabbard strapped to his back. He has unruly short black hair and brown eyes.]

Tsuneo: Hey! Anyone here?
Dan: Hey there. Who're you.

[Tsuneo walks over to the couch.]

Tsuneo: Tsuneo Tateo. Yourself?
Dan: Just Dan.
Tsuneo: You the guy who put the ad in the paper?
Dan: Nope, I'm another applicant. [Tsuneo sits on the couch next to him] I gotta admit, it sounds plenty weird.
Tsuneo: Yeah. 'Persons wanted to review and criticize fanfictions. No experience required. Apply yadda yadda yadda.'
Voice: Good, you're here.
Dan: Whoa, who was that?
Voice: I'm your employer. Call me Jinas. I've been looking around the net and have found some fan-fictions which I need reviewed, so I can recommend them or otherwise.
Dan: Sounds like a perfectly cruddy job.
Voice: Well, it's not like you're drowning in employment offers, is it?
Tsuneo & Dan:...
Tsuneo: So what are we meant to do?
Voice: There will be more people arriving soon. In the meantime, since all this is being video recorded, how about you introduce yourselves? And please, be honest.

[Both look around, and spot a video camera mounted in the wall behind their couch.]

Tsuneo: [To camera] I guess I'll go first. My name's Tsuneo Tateo, and I pilot a mecha called a Crash Hound in the Bravo Squad of the 13th RCT of the Dyson Defence Forces on my home planet of Wyoming. I like sports and martial arts, and life always seems to dump on me.
Dan: Don't get me so down. [To Camera] M name's Dan and I come from a pretty mucked up version of Palladium's Rifts Earth. I'm a hotshot mechajock with an artificial leg, a world domination agenda, a secret identity so secret that even I don't know it and an evil twin sister.
Tsuneo: And I thought I had problems!

[A man with scruffy, shoulder-length brown hair and light blue eyes - one of which is slightly wider open than the other - walks in. He is wearing a baggy khaki flightsuit under a WWII style Bomber Jacket adorned with patches, including a huge Jade Falcon on the back.]

Rick: Hi guys.
Tsuneo: Who are you?
Rick: My name's Rick R. Mortis. [Dan Bursts out laughing. Rick gives him a whack on the head, and he shuts up] Ha ha. Very funny. You know, you're the first person EVER to do that. Anyway... I just turned up here following a "Help Wanted" ad.
Dan & Tsuneo: Us too.
Rick: At least we didn't sign anything...

[A woman enters the room. She has long black hair tied into a plait that comes down nearly to her waist. She has blue/grey eyes and is wearing a black flightsuit with a "Mars Division" patch on the shoulder. She has a glove on her left hand. She leans over the couch behind the others.]

Rebecca: Hi guys!
Dan: OH NO! NOT HER! [Dives behind the other couch and hides]
Tsuneo: What's eating him?
Rick: Guess he doesn't like beautiful women.
Dan [From behind couch]: R.I.P. Rick R.
Voice: Would you two care to give us introductions?
Rick: Who said that?
Rebecca [Cynically]: The great big head in the sky?
Dan [Emerges from behind couch and sits next to Tsuneo]: Naw, that's our boss.
Voice: This is all being taped, for the benefit of our viewers. Now, if you please...
Rick: Anyway, I'm a Commando pilot for the Earth Corps, a military force trying to stop the Evil Aliens from conquering the Earth.
Tsuneo: Where have I heard that one before?
Rick: Anyway... I like girl-chasing, old Robotech comics, shooting aliens (especially that fluffball Terin!) and coming up with modifications for my beloved Commando Una.
Dan: Charming.
Rebecca: I'm from a crappy C&C inspired campaign, but I later got ported into the same warped Rifts world as Dan. Some people have described me as a 'crazed, gun-toting maniac.'
Dan: They're right!
Rebecca [Ignores him]: I'm not. And I have an NRA 'Responsible Gun Owner' award to prove it.
Rick: No doubt with three bullet holes in it.
Rebecca: Two. [Sits down on couch next to Rick]
Voice: Maybe now we can begin. I just need you to offer commentary on the fan-fiction at the end. You get paid by the review, and with any luck, I'll be running a few by you. But first, a special treat. This is a multi-author Sailor Moon-
Dan: WOO-HOO!
Rebecca: AARGH! My secret weakness!
Dan: Cool. [snickers]
Tsuneo: [Groans]
Rick: I'm getting my gun.
Rebecca: Me first! Me first!
Voice: [Ahem] The story is called 'Chaos in Time,' set after the American series has ended.
Rick: You'll have to throw me a bone here, I've seen about half a dozen episodes.
Rebecca: Me less.
Dan: Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
Tsuneo: I have a horrible sense of foreboding about this...
Voice: ANYWAY, the author sets the scene for a new storyline, then other writers follow on from that lead. And without further ado...

[The TV screen lights up.]

       Tina's World


Rick: Tina's World! Tina's World! Here's an extreme close-up!
Dan: I wish.

       Sailor Moon: Chaos in Time

Rebecca: Sailor Moon: Chaos in my digestive tract.
Tsuneo: Has this anything to do with-
Dan: Don't make the one about the sailor's pants!

       A multi-author fan-fiction.

Rick: Oh, dear.
Tsuneo: Up there with great curses like 'self insertion,' 'cross-over' and 'Gonterman.'
Rebecca: I've got one of those stuffed and mounted on my wall.
Tsuneo: I don't think we're talking about the same thing here...
Rebecca: What, fat no-talent slob from Colorado?
Tsuneo: Never mind.

      Introduction

Rick: The end! Hooray!
Rebecca: No such luck.

   "They've destroyed my strobe!

Rick: No more disco for you!

   They've dispersed my warp hole! They'll PAY!!!" Rubeus slammed his 
   fist into the mirror. "D'oh!" 

Dan: Homer Simpson is Rubeus.

   "Rubeus. You've utterly and completely failed. Why do you compound 
   this with seven years bad luck?" 

Dan: Another seven?

   "Wiseman!

Rick [Cartman]: Wiseass more like it!

   Uh...um...uh... what's up?" 

Tsuneo [Stoned]: I am, man! I just got some really great grass.

   "Don't play stupid.

Rebecca [Rubeus]: I don't have to play, it comes natural to me!

   You've fouled up enough. The Crystal Points-- lost.

Tsuneo: A map might have helped.

   The Four Sisters-- corrupted to the side of Good.

Tsuneo: Is this a new definition of the term 'corrupted?'
Rick: Wait a minute, are we talking about that Australian rock formation?
Rebecca: That's the Three Sisters, dummy.

   Countless monsters-- wasted. All because of you. Tell me why I 
   shouldn't kill you right now." 

Rick [Rubeus]: 'Cause I've got a really cute ass!
Dan: Rick! That's disgusting!
Rebecca: Yeah! He beat me to it.

   "Uh... because... uh..." 

Dan: Is this a trick question?

   "You're right. There is no reason.

Tsuneo: Kill him! Kill him!

   However, I feel generous today. You get one more chance." 

"Thank you, Wiseman. I won't let you down."

Dan: Yeah, right. He always does, you know.
Rebecca: I think we'd guessed that by now.

   "That's not true. Despite the perfection of my plan, I'm sure you'll
   find a way to mess up.

Rick: Dang, we've already done that.

   Now listen to what I will tell you, and listen well." He waved his 
   hand over his crystal ball. In a dazzling flash of light, a golden rod 
   appeared.

Rick: Rubeus suffered from hay fever, and thus broke out in a sneezing fit.

   Rubeus gaped at the glittering wand. It was ringed with precious 
   stones, and engraved with runes that seemed older than the world itself. 
   At one end was a large green button.

Tsuneo: As opposed to the large red button.
Rebecca: Labeled 'Do not press this button again.'
Dan: Leave it out, guys, I'm trying to enjoy the fic.

   "This is the Time Key. It is the gate to all times. With this, you 
   will solve all of our problems."

Rick: And probably create a few million more.
Tsuneo: Not to mention that nothing can solve some of his problems.
Rebecca: Never mess around with anything labeled 'time.' I learnt that the hard way with a rather scatty toaster.
Dan: [Shudders]

   Wiseman proceeded to outline his plan. Yes... Rubeus thought. I will
   succeed... and be avenged for my humiliation!!! 

Tsuneo: [Galacticus P. Doom] ME! Me! The one they said was mad!
Rick: About five people are going to get that one.

      Introduction by Tina
Rebecca: Flaming by us.
Tsuneo: Well that wasn't so bad...
Voice: It's just the introduction. There's twenty more chapters to go.
All: AARGH!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rick: Tear along dotted line.

   "Oh wow! Chocolate-chip ice cream!" Serena skipped down the sidewalk,
   busily eating an ice-cream cone. 
Rebecca: I should add something here about anti-personnel mines, but I think it would be a bit too tasteless.
Tsuneo: I'm glad I'm not a diabetic.
   "It's amazing how one can be so easily amused," Rei commented, walking
   beside her. 
Rebecca: [Stares at Dan] Yeah, funny that.
Dan: What?
   "Reiiiiiii, you're soooo meeeannnn!
Tsuneo: [Clutches ears] I'm never going to recover.
   However, there's nothing anyone can do to ruin my mood,"
Rebecca: Except Amy telling her she was leaving for Mina.
Dan: I'm shocked!
Rick: Yeah! I should be doing that!
   Serena returned, satisfied. 
Tsuneo: Heading home and leaving the rest of them. The end.
   "What were you and Darien doing last night?" asked Mina.
Dan: No... Please, no.
Rick: Wouldn't you like to know?
   "Hmm..." Serena's only response was to concentrate on her ice cream.
Tsuneo: Which takes all of her attention span.
Rebecca: Are you sure you've never seen this show?
   "You both really should leave her alone," said Lita. "If she wants to 
   tell us something, then--" Lita's scolding was interrupted by her 
   communicator. It was Sailor Mercury.
Dan: Yay!
Rick: Wearing that cute white plugsuit.
Dan: What?
   "Mercury! What is it?" Lita asked. 
Rebecca: [Mercury] Well, it's either the first planet in the solar system or a liquid metal, but that's not important right now.
   "Scouts! I was playing chess with Birdie when she disappeared!" 
   Mercury reported anxiously. 
Tsuneo: Probably cuted her to death.
   "Right! We'll be there!" Lita turned to the others. "Guys, it looks 
   like Mercury's in trouble! ...Serena, are you listening?" 
Rebecca: Of course not. She was concentrating on her ice-cream, remember?
Tsuneo: And thus didn't notice that she'd walked into traffic.
Rick: I wish.
Dan: You guys...
   "Mmm... chocolate....*drool*...huh?"
Dan: Homer Simpson is Sailor Moon.
Rebecca: Now there's an image I can do without.
   *SMACK!!!* Rei slapped Serena across the face.
All except Dan: Hooray!
   "Hey! What was that for?!" Serena whined. 
Tsuneo: [Rei] For being a whiny, annoying, saccharine-sweet, overly cute, obnoxious, annoying, selfish, brattish, dork-haired, annoying, boy-crazy oompaloompa!
Rebecca: You said 'annoying' three times.
Tsuneo: And your point is?
   "Pay attention and transform!! And wipe the drool off your chin!"
Rick: [Rei] Just because you've got this weird thing about seeing me naked...
Dan: Stop that!
   Rei yelled. 

   "Aahhh!!! You spilled my ice cream!!! Oooh... I'll get you for this...
Tsuneo: So, let me get this straight. She's more annoyed at having her ice- cream spilled than having one of her friends vanish.
Rebecca: That's about the scope of it.
Dan: At least they're remaining faithful to the characters.
   Moon Crystal POWER!!!" 
Rick & Rebcca: AARRGGHH!!
   After changing,
Tsuneo: Which involved heading back home, choosing outfits, arguing about time spent in the bathroom...
   the scouts rushed to meet Mercury. They arrived and entered the 
   apartment.
Rick: Unit 00 Hiding out the back.
Tsuneo: Get real.
   The door slammed shut and would not open. 

   "What's going on?" asked Sailor Moon. 
Tsuneo: May I?
Rebecca: Oh... All right.
Tsuneo: You're in a crappy fanfic with no hope of escape. That help?
   "All right, come on out, Rubeus,"
Rebecca: [Jupiter] We know about you and the Wiseman!
   Jupiter yelled. "We know you're in here!
Rebecca: [Jupiter] We know about the crush you've got on Mercury.
Dan: At least make up your mind.
Rick: Sorry, she looks so cute in that plugsuit.
Dan & Tsuneo: HEY!
   Don't try to hide!"

   "Who's hiding, Sailor Scrubs? I'm right above you." The Scouts looked up
   to see Rubeus balanced on the chandelier. 
Dan: That's a dang nice apartment.
      Chapter 1 by Tina
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan: Sign on dotted line, and you'll never see your soul again.
Tsuneo: No, that comes from just reading the fanfic.

   "Aah! I am Sailor Moon! I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! 
   And in case you weren't paying attention, that means YOU!" 
Rebecca: [Rolls on floor, gagging.]
Dan: What's with her?
Rick: Guess, you cretin.
Dan: But she really says that.
Tsuneo: [Rolls on floor, gagging.]
   "Where are the sisters?" Mars asked. 
Rick: Like I said, in Australia.
Dan: FOUR sisters!
Rebecca: [Getting up] Give it up, Dan.
   "Sorry to disappoint you, but they had to step out for a bit.
Tsuneo: [Rubeus] Such a shame this is a twelfth floor apartment.
Rebecca: [Rubeus] I gave them a choice. It was either that, or appear in this fanfic.
Rick: Glad you two have recovered.
   Hopefully I can entertain you in their place." 

   "Ooh... come down and fight like a Sailor Scout,
Rick: What, whine a lot in a ridiculous outfit?
Rebecca: Tut, tut, Rick, you know he only wears that outfit for the Wiseman.
Dan: Or better yet, stay up there and fight like a villain!
Tsuneo: I'm surprised Dan let that one go...
   you scumbucket!" Venus challenged. 
   "Again I apologize..." He pulled out an incredibly adorned golden rod
Rick: And had another sneezing fit.
   and clicked three parts together. "...but you really must go. It 
   wasn't nice knowing you, Scouts, but it'll be great knowing you've never 
   existed.
Tsuneo: Yes, won't it?
Rebecca: Hear, hear!
Dan: Ohh... Can it.
   "What are you babbling about? 'Never existed'?" asked Mercury.
Rick: [Mercury] You can't 'never exist' me, I've got to go back to Nerv HQ tonight.
Tsuneo: [Whaps Rick on the head] Now stop that!
 "It's only a matter of time. Excuse the pun."
All: NO!
   Rubeus pointed the Time Key at the Scouts and pressed the green 
   button. A glowing beam lanced out towards the scouts. Stopped in place, 
   they began to weaken. 

   "AAAAHHH!!!", they screamed. "What's.. happening to us?"
Tsuneo: Like I said, you're in a crappy fanfic.
   "Hahahahah," Rubeus cackled. "I'm getting you out of my way FOREVER!! 
   With this Time Key, I can send you to whenever I want! I've come up with 
   the perfect plan! After I send you to the future, I'll go back to my time
   where Crystal Tokyo will be easy pickings! And the best part is, you can't
   do anything because you won't exist!!!
Tsuneo: Um... Does anyone want to know that a far better plan would be to imitate 'Terminator' and go back and kill their parents before they were born? Or do them in as kids?
Rick: Smile & nod.
Rebecca: Besides, that means we might have to see them as even sweeter than they are now.
Tsuneo: Your plan's perfect, Rubeus!
   Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! YOU ROOSE!!
All: YOU WHAT?
Rick: I suppose we've got the fansubbed version.
   HAHAHAHA!!! Yes! I'll send you to the future where I've already taken 
   over the world!! 
Dan: Bet you he even mucks that one up.
   "Never! You're moondust! Moon Scepter Elimination!!!"
Tsuneo: Zeo Blasters! Now!
Rebecca: Rapid-fire Machinegun!
Rick: Southern Cross Fist!
Dan: Big Ass Blast!
   Sailor Moon fired at the Key. 
Tsuneo: She fired her scepter at the key?
Dan: Yes.
Tsuneo: But surely, there are better weapons? Like a gun?
Dan: It's magic. Don't ask.
Rick: And where precisely does she keep that thing, anyway?
Dan: [Starts drooling]
   "NOOOO!!!" Rubeus cried as the Key blasted into pieces
Tsuneo: Killing them all in the resulting explosion. The end.
Rebecca: [Bored] Yay.
   which fell into the beam. He reached for the pieces, but could only 
   reach one without entering the time beam. "Aah! Look what you've done!!! 
   You WITCH!!" he swore at Serena. All she had strength to do was grin 
   triumphantly as the scouts began to fade away into the time stream. 
   Suddenly, in a flash of light, they were all gone. Rubeus found himself 
   alone with the last piece of the Time Key."Grrr..." He clutched the piece 
   and prepared to return to the ship.
Dan: Told you he could stuff it up.
Rick: This guy couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery.
      Chapter 2 by Tina
Rebecca: Where are these multiple authors, anyway?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan: Flatline. Fanfic's dead.
Tsuneo: CLEAR!
[All make sound of electic shocks.]

   Rini entered Amy's house.
Tsuneo: Damn, it worked.
Rick: AAAH! IKE!
Rebecca: Quick! Let's boot it in the head!
   "Amy!" she yelled. "Amy, I'm here!" She listened. Silence. "Oh well." 
   Rini danced out. 
Tsuneo: Real children don't go hoppity-skip unless they're on drugs.
Rick: If I catch you being sweet again I will knot your arms behind your head.
Rebecca: Please.
   Later Luna and Artemis were looking for the scouts.
Dan: [Artemis] Not under this rock... No. Have you tried the duckpond?
Rebecca: [Luna] Have you tried Tahiti? I hear it's good this time of year.
Tsuneo: I think we all should...
   "Where could they have gone to?"
Rick: Disneyland?
   Luna asked. They saw Rini skipping down the sidewalk. "Rini, have you 
   seen the scouts?" 
Rick: [Rini] No, but I saw a big blue robot in Amy's back yard!
Dan: Enough already!
Tsuneo: Yeah! They keep it in the geofront.
Rebecca: Geocities... Geofront... separated at birth?
   "No, 
Rebecca: And thank god for that.
   I went over to Amy's house. She was going to take me out for an ice
   cream, but she wasn't there," Rini said. 
Tsuneo: Do these people think of anything but ice cream?
   "She wasn't?" Luna asked. 
Rebecca: [Rini] Yeah, that's what I just said, you dopey cat!
   "It's not like Amy to forget," Artemis said. Suddenly Rubeus appeared
   above them. 
Tsuneo: And fell to the ground because he'd materialized in thin air.
Dan: No chandeliers here.
   "Oh no!" Rini shouted. 
All: Oh, yes!
   "That's right--the scouts are gone! I sent them away. HA HA HA,
Tsuneo: Diabolical laughter.
   I'll take over the world and there is nothing you can do about it. HA 
   HA HA. I just had to taunt you,"
Tsuneo: Diabolical acting.
Rick: [Silly french voice] Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!
   Rubeus said. In a flash he disappeared. 
Tsuneo: Piling up several offences for exposing himself to a minor.
Rebecca: What's gotten into you?
Tsuneo: I'm sorry. It's just.. this fanfic.
   "Oh no! What do we do?" Rini turned to Luna and Artemis.
Rick: Let's form a conga line!
[They all leap up and start dancing the conga, until Rebecca smacks Dan for holding her in the wrong place.]
Voice: If you don't mind...
Dan: Spoilsport. [They resume their seats. Dan rubs his cheek sorely.]
Rebecca: Next time, I'll just shoot you.
   "Rini, you have to go back in time and save your friends!" Artemis
   said.
Dan: So we are going to see them as munchkins.
[Rebecca and Tsuneo roll around on the floor, gagging.]
   "Me? But I'm just a little kid," Rini sucked her thumb. "What can I
   do?"
Rebecca: [Getting up] For starters, jump on this antipersonnel mine.
Tsuneo: What have I told you about being cute?
   "Take this amulet!" Luna spun around and an amulet appeared. It was 
   green, light-blue, and black. 
Dan: Yuck!
   "What's this for?" 
Rebecca: Homing signal for the missiles.
   "Hold it up to the sky and shout "Time Star Power!" 
Dan: What... Please, God no!!!
   Rini clutched the amulet, reaching for the sky. "TIME STAR POWER!!"
   she shouted, and transformed into Sailor Time. Her hair had turned green.
   Her skirt was black, and her bows light-blue. "Cool!" Rini giggled. 
Dan: [Anguished] NO!!! But she's not any Sailor Time... There is no Sailor Time... She's Chibi Moon, not... [Breaks down, sobbing.]
Rebecca: Fanboy.
Rick: If he was Tom, his head would have exploded by now.
Rebecca: Please...
   "Now you must travel forward through time,
Rick: But you said travel back in time!
Tsuneo: Smile & nod.
Rebecca: Even the author's not paying attention to this one.
   save the scouts,
Rebecca: Why?
   and then help them defeat Rubeus and whatever new flukies he might
   have. 
Tsuneo: [Hades] We hug, we smooch, we all dance around, everyone goes home happy. Whaddya say?
   "Right." Sailor Time nodded. "Hold on Sailor Scouts! Help is on the
   way!"
Tsuneo: They're turning her into the hero of the story? NOOO!!! [Breaks down, sobbing.]
       Chapter 3 by CJ Ward
Dan & Tsuneo: CURSE YOUR BLACK HEART, CJ WARD!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rebecca: And a line of ants walk across the page.

   A shining ball of light appeared over the street. It rapidly expanded,
   then flashed away,
Tsuneo: Yup, done that one.
   leaving the Sailor Scouts hanging in mid-air.
Rebecca: Pity it couldn't be higher up.
   They plunged to the ground, screaming, and landed in a heap. 
Tsuneo: I never thought I'd be glad to see them.
Dan: [Muttering] Sailor Time...
   "We all seem to be alright," said Lita
Tsuneo: [Rei] Speak for yourself, I've got some dandy bruises.
   "Speak for yourself," said Rei, "I've got some dandy bruises."
Rick: How did you do that?
Tsuneo: I don't know... But something feels disgustingly familiar about this...
   She looked around as they picked themselves up off the ground. They
   were in the ruins of a house. All around was desolation, the torched
   remnants of a city.
Rick: Eternity comics present: Sailor Moon: Aftermath.
Rebecca: Written and illustrated by Bruce Lewis.
Rick: In courier new font with no capitals on a cruddy old typewriter.
Rebecca: Inks by Dave Lampere.
Dan: ENOUGH ALREADY!
Tsuneo: I think about three people are going to get that one.
   "Something's wrong!" cried out Serena.
Rick: No shit, Sherlock.
Tsuneo: You've gone from a bad fanfic to a bad comic - I don't know which is worse.
Rick: Bruce got paid for Aftermath.
Dan: The comic.
   Taking stock of the situation, all of them realized that they'd 
   reverted to human forms. 
Tsuneo: So... what were they before?
Dan: Sailor Scouts.
Rick: Cute Furry Bogflops.
Rebecca: Justifiable causes for incendiary weapons.
   "I wonder what happened here,"
Tsuneo: You've gone from a bad fanfic to a -
Rick: Yeah, yeah, enough already.
   Mina asked, not expecting an answer.

   "Same thing that's going to happen to you!"
Dan: Well, she got one anyway.
Rick: Was that a set-up line, or what.
   bellowed a cruel voice from above. A woman, or at least something in 
   a woman's form, was perched upon the remains of a wall nearby them. It 
   seemed to be made of a black mist of some kind, save for the cruel and 
   hawk-like face that had a ghostly pallor. 
Dan: I'll take anything in a woman's form.
Rebecca: You would, you...
Tsuneo: Calm down.
"Nega-monster!" Called out Serena. "Moon Crystal Power!" Rick: Not again!
Rebecca: Oh, my aching head!
   The inner light in the Silver imperium crystal flared for the briefest
   of moments... then vanished. 
Dan: What? That's the most powerful source of energy in the universe! IT CAN'T FAIL!
Rick: Fanboy.
Tsuneo: They gave that to a bratty fourteen year old ditz?
Rick: No, she found it in a christmas cracker.
Rebecca: Besides, there are more powerful things in the universe. Like prune juice.
Dan: Natch.
   "What's happened?" she cried out. "How can we fight it?"
Tsuneo: You don't. You all die horribly screaming with sharp things in your head.
Rick: Please.
Dan: Feeling dark?
Tsuneo: This is a good day for me.
   Suddenly, there came two shouts from above and behind them, 
   accompanied by a flash of light. 

   "Mars Fire-Wind Slash!" 

   "Jupiter Thunder-Discs Blast!" 
Dan: Oh no, not again...
Tsuneo: Hadou-ken!
Rick: Sonic Boom!
Rebecca: Screaming Eye Beam!
   A bolt of blazing fire, crackling with electricity,
Tsuneo: Is now the right time to say something about energy and matter?
Rick: No.
   shot down from above,
Dan: Rubeus and his chandelier again, I see.
   striking the mist-creature. It screamed briefly, and dispersed into
   thin air. 
Rick: [Yelling] DON'T STAND THERE GAWPING! LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THE HAND OF GOD BEFORE!
Rebecca: [Holds ears] Ow...
   Then two young women, both about 16, landed in front of the Sailor
   Scouts. One was tall and lean, with short purple hair. The other had a
   long green plait. But the most amazing of all was that the first wore Mars'
   costume, the second was dressed as Sailor Jupiter. 
Rick: No! Weird hair colors!
Dan: But Rini had purple hair.
Rick: Yeah, but she's a mutie.
Dan: You know, that 'Jupiter' one looks a bit like...
Rebecca: Don't even think it!
      Chapter 4 by Jinas
All: Ahhh...
Tsuneo: So that's what it was.
Rebecca: [Cracks knuckles] I'm going to have to have a 'chat' with our boss about this.
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